Thursday, July 29, 2004
THE ROUGH AND TUMBLE WORLD OF BROADCASTING
I had a rough day yesterday after picking up a cold from my daughter. It just so happens she has now learned to give kisses to her daddy and I love getting them from her. Little did I know, she was using her new-found knowledge and was kissing some boys at the playground the other day and one of them had a cold. I'm still going to have to apply for that license to carry...
The job search is on-going, with a few new opportunities popping up here and there. There's a slot just north of the border and one I'm really interested in way up on the furthest corner of the country. It would be an interesting move, considering the size of the market and the opportunity for me to focus on my craft.
One of the difficulties in getting that next job after being axed is the fact you're considered "damaged goods"...no matter what the circumstances of your leaving, that's what people are thinking. A number of you have asked me repeatedley why I got released. I honestly don't have a great answer for you...but I was watching 20/20 the other night and lo and behold, there's John Stossel providing a report about our litigious society. He does a great job with his segments, "Give me a break!" and this one just so happens to have included a little something about getting fired.
You see, so many companies are becoming much more careful about the firing and hiring process...given the rules we have piled up and court decisions...you can pretty much bet there's a lawyer somewhere who will take the case of someone who thinks they were fired illegally. I've actually gone through the legal training that is required in order to fire or dismiss an employee...and rule number 1 is not to give a reason that could cause a lawsuit...and not to provide references other than a simple work history. In my earlier days, I was actually scolded for telling an employee that he was a good broadcaster...just not right for our format. I was told after the deed had been done that I wasn't to tell someone they were good during the firing process because it might be grounds for a lawsuit. The John Stossel report included a scary case where a person got fired for messing around with an intern or something...but no one at his new employer knew about it because his previous employer couldn't disclose it - it could have inspired a lawsuit. So he messed around with another intern.
It's especially difficult when you're coming from a market the size of Charleston (#89 in the US) and want to go up into the top 50...because I'm damaged goods (or at least that's what people think), I have to work especially hard to get their attention and consider me for the job. Believe it or not, some people are like computers and they figure that a guy who was in market 89 and was fired, can't possibly be good enough for market 74...and they won't even listen to the demo or take the risk of spending a few moments on the phone interviewing the guy to see if he might be the diamond in the rough.
I promise them (if they happen to stop by and take a read) that I am MORE eager for the new opportunity now than ever...because when you get comfortable in this business...you end up getting burned.
I had a rough day yesterday after picking up a cold from my daughter. It just so happens she has now learned to give kisses to her daddy and I love getting them from her. Little did I know, she was using her new-found knowledge and was kissing some boys at the playground the other day and one of them had a cold. I'm still going to have to apply for that license to carry...
The job search is on-going, with a few new opportunities popping up here and there. There's a slot just north of the border and one I'm really interested in way up on the furthest corner of the country. It would be an interesting move, considering the size of the market and the opportunity for me to focus on my craft.
One of the difficulties in getting that next job after being axed is the fact you're considered "damaged goods"...no matter what the circumstances of your leaving, that's what people are thinking. A number of you have asked me repeatedley why I got released. I honestly don't have a great answer for you...but I was watching 20/20 the other night and lo and behold, there's John Stossel providing a report about our litigious society. He does a great job with his segments, "Give me a break!" and this one just so happens to have included a little something about getting fired.
You see, so many companies are becoming much more careful about the firing and hiring process...given the rules we have piled up and court decisions...you can pretty much bet there's a lawyer somewhere who will take the case of someone who thinks they were fired illegally. I've actually gone through the legal training that is required in order to fire or dismiss an employee...and rule number 1 is not to give a reason that could cause a lawsuit...and not to provide references other than a simple work history. In my earlier days, I was actually scolded for telling an employee that he was a good broadcaster...just not right for our format. I was told after the deed had been done that I wasn't to tell someone they were good during the firing process because it might be grounds for a lawsuit. The John Stossel report included a scary case where a person got fired for messing around with an intern or something...but no one at his new employer knew about it because his previous employer couldn't disclose it - it could have inspired a lawsuit. So he messed around with another intern.
It's especially difficult when you're coming from a market the size of Charleston (#89 in the US) and want to go up into the top 50...because I'm damaged goods (or at least that's what people think), I have to work especially hard to get their attention and consider me for the job. Believe it or not, some people are like computers and they figure that a guy who was in market 89 and was fired, can't possibly be good enough for market 74...and they won't even listen to the demo or take the risk of spending a few moments on the phone interviewing the guy to see if he might be the diamond in the rough.
I promise them (if they happen to stop by and take a read) that I am MORE eager for the new opportunity now than ever...because when you get comfortable in this business...you end up getting burned.
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Here you go Greg-you'll be needin these soon enough!
10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
10 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
I saw that Stossel piece as well...he's very good at what he does, his segment served as a great hit piece on Edwards the ambulance chaser. Anybody who hasn't read "Gimme a Break: How I Exposed..." should consider picking it up.
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