Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I'VE GOT TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS
Idle hands are the devil's playground...and yours truly has had way too much idle time in the past. So, I did what every average American male would do...man stuff. I like man stuff. Man stuff is what separates us from the other four legged beasts on this planet. We create, destroy, build, and put our ideas into action. And when a man has time, and plenty of tools, he can do some real damage. Women can as well...but they do much more damage with just ONE tool...a man's wallet.
Realtors tell us a fresh coat of paint will do wonders for prospective buyers attitudes. My wife has wanted me to do this for a long time...but I think like a man. I didn't want to paint the rooms in the house that needed it. Reason? Sure, several:
Idle hands are the devil's playground...and yours truly has had way too much idle time in the past. So, I did what every average American male would do...man stuff. I like man stuff. Man stuff is what separates us from the other four legged beasts on this planet. We create, destroy, build, and put our ideas into action. And when a man has time, and plenty of tools, he can do some real damage. Women can as well...but they do much more damage with just ONE tool...a man's wallet.
Realtors tell us a fresh coat of paint will do wonders for prospective buyers attitudes. My wife has wanted me to do this for a long time...but I think like a man. I didn't want to paint the rooms in the house that needed it. Reason? Sure, several:
- Choosing a color. Any man who's been around a woman while deciding on a room "theme" or "color scheme" knows they're in a lot of trouble. Men think about the three basic colors - white, off white, and antique white. Women choose burnt orange, mauve, lime, and extravagant faux finishes. That means more work for a man.
- The color would be our choice. What if the next owners don't like the "color scheme" my wife has chosen? That's a lot of work to go to waste.
- The color would be our choice...and I'd have to put up with a woman who has now developed a sentimental attachment to our home...valuing her (mostly my) hard work and not the cash we'd make when we sold it. I mean, what's better? A faux finish or a new flat screen television? It's HGTV vs. HDTV...
- I'm thinking of the other man. Why not position the house as "ready to paint" instead of "in need of paint"? The guy who's married to the new owner will have to paint anyway because that's what all women want before they move into a home. What's the sense of me painting if she is going to want it done all over again in a "color scheme" she's been thinking about since the last special on HGTV. All of my hard work is now wasted.
I did it anyway. But I got most of what I wanted...no "color scheme" and no "faux finishes" on the walls. I chose "soft white" for 8-bucks a gallon at Wal-Mart. I got the living room (800square feet with 15-foot ceilings) done in two days. I'm sweaty, I have paint drops all over my hands and clothes, my back is sore, I'm tired, but I'm satisfied...man-like satisfied. I even had a beer.
Now we can advertise the house as: "Blank canvas...ready for the perfect color scheme"...I'm sure it'll sell now.
I just wish I had a new radio show...this would have been hot on the show.
Comments:
<< Home
Okay, I'm no math wiz, but what are the dimensions of your living room? If it's 800 sq. ft. it would have to be 20 ft by 40 ft! Your whole living room would take up three quarters of my apartment! Where did you find such a house?
Post a Comment
<< Home
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
