TELL ME ABOUT YOUR MOTHER, MR ALAN...

Have you ever had to take one of those "personality" tests when applying for a job? I've only taken two of them in my life, and the second one was yesterday. One of the things that bothers me about those things (and always has) is you never know the score...or how you did, or just what the hell they use those things for. Someday, I'll be on the inside of that kind of thing and I'll be sitting in a boardroom with one lightbulb poring over the results and determining someone's future on the basis of a test developed by Sigmund Freud or some other brain doctor...but for now, I have to guess.

It was a strange test...first in pencil (#2 of course), then they took the pencils away after a perfectly timed 12 minutes. Then, they gave everyone pens to finish the test in as much time as they needed. I can only imagine why. Below are some sample questions - ones I could remember (which might be part of the test too) - and the answers I came up with. See how you do or would do:

1. Jill is twice the age of her brother who is 15. How old will Jill be when her brother turns 25?
2. (1) All athletes are active. (2) Some of the people in this room are active. (3) Some of the people in this room are athletes. Assume the first two statements are true, is the final statement true or false?
3. Which of the following numbers is the smallest? (2, 1, .89, .8, 1.089)
4. Your supervisor wants to know how many museums are in the United States - you have no access to research - how would you estimate the number of museums in the United States? If you had 24-hours and access to research, how would you determine the answer?
5. (essay portion) Write a paragraph using all of the following words...the paragraph can be fictional or true. (whether...temperate...their...beach...it's)
6. (essay portion) Why does a clock run clockwise?

I guess if you're an employer...there's something to be learned from all of the above. I can't possibly know what that is, but I'll probably find out in 7-to-10 days when they either call me for an interview or not. (Yes, this test was just to determine who they interview, not even who they hire...that might be another test.) Based on the current status of education here in South Carolina, I can understand why unemployment is at 5-point-5 percent. Our kids have NO chance if they're putting condoms on bananas instead of studying for this kind of pressure.

See what you came up with - here are the answers I remember entering:

1. 40...most people might get slightly confused under pressure and put down 50 by assuming she'd still be twice his age, but we all age equally. If Jill is twice the age of her brother, she's 15-years older...she'll still be 15-years older when he's 25. 25+15=40
2. True...if the first statements are true, the particulars of the third statement would also be true. All athletes are active...SOME in this room are active...SOME in this room are athletes. If it said ALL in this room are active...that would be false.
3. .8 is smaller than .89...because .8 actually can be stretched out with zeros to make the format of the number the same (.800000000 and so on), so .80 is smaller than .89...the others are obvious because they're all over 1.
4. I guessed at 200 museums per STATE accounting for large and smaller rural states...multiply by 50 and you get 10,000. I'd determine the actual number by contacting the state tourism departments in each state of the US and asking them how many they had in their respective states...then add up for each state you contact.
5. Mine was actually a sentance, not an entire paragraph: Whether it's temperate at the beach, will determine if they wear their swimsuits.
6. I think it's a trick question. My answer was "because"...that's it. One word. I didn't think they wanted 5 single spaced pages on my theory of why a clock runs clockwise...it just does...accept the fact and move on. I don't know what this says about me and what the heck it has to do with my job aptitude...but I saw other people writing and writing and writing on that one. I was among the first two people to leave after completing the test. I guess I'll have a co-worker.

Wish me luck...I think. Notice that radio talk show host jobs go to people who maybe have a good voice and something to say...there's no psychological testing there...although some I've been listening to here recently probably need one.

APOCALYPSE THEN

I'd love to have been there to film this campaign commercial...

(FADE FROM BLACK - Text over black and white photographs of soldiers in uniform, from file footage in succession)

1 - "...a report which is shocking in it's allegations against your personal conduct..."

2 - "...the detailed circumstances communicated to me lead to the belief that some ground for the charges must exist..."

Announcer: His commanders at the time said he was tough, but maybe Americans should ask whether or not he was too tough...too tough to command. Unfit for command. And according to the official investigation...

3 - "..brutality, abuse of the sick..."

4 - "...uncontrollable temper in front of subordinates..."

Announcer: An Associated Press story by Drew Pearson suggested a cover up...and calls for his dismissal of his command. He abused two soldiers while in a hospital...

(PHOTOS - black and white photos of soldiers with voice over each)

Announcer: According to official military records...he personally abused Private Charles H. Kuhl...L Company, 26th Infantry, 1st Division...and Private Paul G. Bennet, C Battery, 17th Field Artillery.

(FADE TO FILM FOOTAGE -Candidate in question raising hand in salute)

Announcer: George S. Patton...unfit for command. America needs a more sensitive warrior.

Of course, I'm sure you've seen the movie version...and maybe even heard about the "slapping" incidents in question. All of the above was taken from actual reports at the time in 1943 when General George S. Patton was removed of command of the Seventh Army by SAC General Eisenhower. He was told to apologize (and didn't) and the issue was dismissed quietly.

Why?

Because his superiors determined he was essential to the war effort. It was 3-months before the story made the papers when Drew Pearson (actual reporter) broadcast the "scoop" because he was upset over the forced resignation of his close friend, Sumner Welles - Undersecretary of State for President Roosevelt. He was pro-communist and a self described, "friend of Russia" and advocated a second front in Europe to assist our Russian "friends".

In retribution, Pearson vociferously attacked Secretary of State Cordell Hull stating that Hull had only one idea in mind; that being to not have a second front, nor a "good neighbor" policy, but that he wanted to "bleed Russia white". The Secretary upon responding said, "Pearson's allegations are pure falsehood; monstrous and diabolical lies." Roosevelt, always the politician, then chimed in with Hull. Using one of his favorite labels, he blasted Pearson as a "chronic liar". Knowing Pearson's affection for the Russians, Roosevelt then added insult to injury by claiming that the Russians might be offended by Pearson's untrue remarks.

Pearson then called an emergency meeting with his lawyer, Ernest Cuneo. Cuneo suggested that Pearson might use a "distraction" to focus the public eye away from his lost battle. His idea was to create a sensational, new diversion. Cuneo suggested that Pearson use the story of the "slapping incidents". There were a number of Washington correspondents, along with the North African correspondents, who had already heard the story, but they had avoided using it. Pearson had no scruples about any story at any time. Pearson was one of the masters of "yellow journalism".

He never failed to use this mastery for his own benefit and to his advantage. On November 21, 1943, Pearson broke his three month old "scoop". He had predicted, too, in his broadcast that Patton would never again hold a responsible war assignment. He was wrong, as he often was.

Anyone read the news lately? I've said it before, and I'll repeat those famous words again - Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.

Here's a pretty good write-up of the above...from the Patton website.

BAND OF POLITICAL BROTHERS

I've stayed away from politics for a while in the most recent posts...but I couldn't help myself today while watching all the news - point/counterpoint - analysis of John Kerry and the hubbub over Swift Boats and such. I'll keep it short and simple...

1. I was reminded by someone of the opening few lines of the HBO series, Band of Brothers..."I am not a hero, but I was surrounded by heroes..."
2. America likes a quiet hero.
3. Every medal recipient I've met (and probably the lions share of those at the USS Yorktown Congressional Medal of Honor museum) have been very meek about receiving them...and usually complimentary of others who they thought deserved it more.
4. Explain to me how the war can be filled with a bunch of war criminals in 1971, and suddenly become a "band of brothers" in 2004.
5. We actually have two politicians who agree on something...that "outside" and "independent" commercials on TV and Radio should be "taken off the air." What they both agree on, however, is a limitation on free speech. I seem to remember something about the First Amendment being pretty important.

And finally, if you're one of those who think all this stuff is getting out of hand...here's a small sample of a reminder of PAST Presidential campaigns:

Jefferson v. several: In the 1796 campaign, John Adams' supporters called Thomas Jefferson a wine-and-cheese-loving Francophile. If elected, "murder, robbery, rape, adultery and incest will be openly taught and practiced," the opposition said of Jefferson. Adams won in 1796. Jefferson won in 1800 and 1804, even though his opponents tried the same attack. In addition, in the 1804 campaign, Jefferson's foes said he fathered children with his slaves.

Jackson v. Adams: In 1828, Andrew Jackson's supporters came after John Quincy Adams -- son of the second president -- calling him profligate, corrupt and a pimp for the Russian czar while he was minister to that country. And they said his wife, Louisa, was born out of wedlock. Adams shot back, calling Jackson violent and cruel and saidthat his relationship with his wife, Rachel, had been adulterous. Jackson won. His wife died shortly afterward, and Jackson was convinced that his foes had killed her with their smear.

William Henry Harrison: Democrats derided the Whig party and its 1840 standard-bearer, Harrison, as a country peasant who lived in a log cabin and drank hard cider. So what did the Whigs and Harrison do? They held rallies at log cabins, sold Harrison as a regular rustic American -- and, of course, drank lots of hard cider. He won.

James Buchanan: Buchanan had congenital palsy, a condition that forced him to tilt his head to the left to compensate for a slight case of double vision. In the 1856 campaign, his rivals spread rumors that the tilted head was the result of a bungled attempt to hang himself. He won.

Abraham Lincoln: Cartoons and jokes demeaned Lincoln as homely during the 1860 campaign. Rumors cast him as a deist and an ignoramus. Lincoln never returned his opponents' attacks.

Grant v. Seymour: The anti-Union attacks from Republicans against Democrats and their candidate, Horatio Seymour, continued into the 1868 campaign. Republicans also said Seymour's family had a history of insanity. (Seymour's father committed suicide.) Seymour's running mate, Frank Blair, was accused of being a drunk and of seeking another civil war. Democrats retorted by calling Ulysses Grant uncouth, tyranical and a promoter of black superiority. One campaign song included the lines: "I am Captain Grant of the Black Marines/The stupidest man that ever was seen."

Hayes v. Tilden: In 1876, Democrats accused Rutherford Hayes of stealing the pay of dead soldiers while he was a Union general and of tax fraud. He even accused him of shooting his mother in a fit of insanity. Samuel Tilden wasn't spared: He was called an extortionist, a Confederate sympathizer and a swindler, among others.

Cleveland v. Blaine: In the 1884 campaign, James Blaine became linked to a Protestant minister who aroused controversy with his anti-Catholic slurs, calling the Democrats the party of "Rum, Romanism and Rebellion." Blaine did not distance himself from the remarks. Cleveland, who was not a Catholic, also faced controversy because he was single. Charges surfaced that he fathered and abandoned a child. The Blaine camp came up with the slogan: "Ma, ma, where's my pa? Gone to the White House, ha-ha-ha." Cleveland responded by fessing up that he had a lover, Maria Halpin. She said Cleveland fathered her son. There was no proof. Cleveland doubted her claim since she had other lovers. But he paid support for the boy until he was adopted by wealthy parents. The issue fizzled, Cleveland won and eventually married Frances Folsom in 1886.

Goldwater v. Johnson: In 1964, Democrats questioned Republican candidate Barry Goldwater's judgment. The U.S. senator from Arizona had proposed allowing U.S. military commanders to use tactical nuclear weapons. Democrats ran a TV ad that showed a girl counting as she removed petals from a daisy. As she neared 10 petals, her voice was replaced with a man counting down to zero. Then, to a deafening roar, the TV screen was filled with a mushroom cloud. The ad concludes: "Vote for President Johnson on Nov. 3. The stakes are too high for you to stay home." Johnson won in a landslide. The ad ran only once, but was replayed on TV news broadcasts.

Come on folks, politics have actually gotten NICER...we've actually had a duel between two politicians in which one of them DIED for crying out loud. This is mild.

IT'S NOT WHO YOU KNOW, BUT HOW YOU KNOW THEM

I've heard a lot of the pessimistic crowd in my years of taking calls...and it really wasn't until this most recent experience of mine that I've figured out a good answer to the phrase, "It's not what you know, it's who you know."

The phrase above is usually used by someone who is a quitter, or a leftover non-conformist-type person - even a socialist. It's meant to point out the inequities of the kinds of relationships people form with one another. People act as if there's something wrong with knowing someone who can help you achieve a goal or get ahead. I've usually relegated these people to the lazy among us. They who sit around and wait for what they believe is owed to them...

I've received a lot of help from people in the emails - people offering resume advice, career path advice, job openings, suggestions on how to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why someone would give that kind of advice to someone they may never have met. I get all kinds of emails - cialis offers, home mortage spam, credit card offers, a whole host of emails with very misleading subject lines...(even though I have spamkiller filter plugins, I take a peek at some of them just in case they're from a listener)...

So what was it that made these people want to extend a possible answer to a problem? I don't know them, so the phrase "it's not what you know, it's who you know" doesn't apply to them. It had to be something else. So the best I could come up with was:

It's HOW you know them

And by that I mean, what was it about your personality that made someone want to help you? It wasn't kissing butt - brown-nosing...it wasn't by nepotism or a "good ole boy" club...

It just may be something simple like the golden rule. How you treat others around you and how you can maybe set an example for honesty, leadership, trustworthyness, character...all those things we say we don't really care about in our political leadership. Am I saying I'm perfect in every one of those traits? No...I honestly don't know exactly what combination of the above I did properly. But I can tell you the result - nice surprises and offers of help...and a renewed faith in people in general.

Try it...you won't get a "reward" for it...but when you least expect it (and mostly need it) you'll find the same thing happen to you. Trust me...

THE GOOGLE GIGGLE

I should preface the post today by saying that I am not one you should necessarily be looking to for investing advice. I have nothing to invest with, but...

I use the search engine Google a lot. A huge amount. I use it most every day. I find it fast, efficient, and unfailing in finding a lot of stuff that I need. Radio station websites, articles, research...you name it. Now, if you're a web-geek, please don't send me little missives about a better search engine that you use and how no one knows about it because they're basically computer illiterate...and how Google is just another "sell out" of the web culture. You readers can do a test for web-geeks sometime like I have done in the past...all you have to do is mention "Microsoft Windows" and you'll get thousands of people responding about a better operating system and how Microsoft sucks and how he stole the technology for Windows and how something like Red Hat's operating system (I forget what it's called) is so much better and doesn't crash...and it goes on and on and on. I know you people exist and that's fine...but this post isn't about that.

My wife has been listening occasionally to the news. And the Google IPO (she doesn't even know what that stands for) is going to be really cool and maybe we should think about investing in it. Now, again, forgetting about the fact that we have nothing to invest...I asked her a few questions that I think you yourself might ask if you're considering the same thing:

1. Do you know what an IPO is? If you don't, you probably shouldn't spend the 85-bucks for a share or two. It's stands for Initial Public Offering...and it basically means you can buy the first stock certificates made available when a company "goes public"...
2. Do you know what "going public" is? If you don't...again...don't waste your money.
3. Do you know where Google is located? Not on the web...but their physical operations. Brick and mortar they used to call it. Can you find the address of the company and walk into their building and see the people milling about doing their jobs? If not, try a Google search to find it before you invest your money.
4. History can repeat itself, do you remember something called "Monster" or any of the other 1997 Super Bowl commercials? I can't believe people can fall for something like this again after experiencing the "dot-com boom" of the 90's...and forgetting every lesson from the bubble burst. I guess that explains why scams that are decades old still work today...the pigeon drop, the left-over asphalt repair crew, the pyramid investment plan...it's all rather scary to think it could happen again. I know, it's only one stock...but it's really strange to see all the hype again.
5. Do you know how they make their money? If none of the other questions bother you, this one should above all. How does Google actually make money? I know they do...but so did Enron. I'm asking you how they pay their bills (if they have any)...and just who is writing a check to Google for anything. I've been reading several of the articles about the Google IPO and all the hype surrounding it...and I don't know about you, but I find it a little scary to see the tiny mentions of how they make money buried deep in the article in paragraph 13. Not a good sign.

Look, I could be wrong about this...and I'm not the wisest investment guru guy...but I think these are basic questions anyone should ask before they plunk down 85-bucks a share for a company they've heard of...but don't know. I'll eat my words someday when Google is bigger than McDonald's or Coca-Cola and there's a franchise operation in every city and I see it on every shelf in the store...but I think I'm right about this one, folks. Put your money in something you know.

I think Warren Buffet used that advice.

I'VE GOT TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS

Idle hands are the devil's playground...and yours truly has had way too much idle time in the past. So, I did what every average American male would do...man stuff. I like man stuff. Man stuff is what separates us from the other four legged beasts on this planet. We create, destroy, build, and put our ideas into action. And when a man has time, and plenty of tools, he can do some real damage. Women can as well...but they do much more damage with just ONE tool...a man's wallet.

Realtors tell us a fresh coat of paint will do wonders for prospective buyers attitudes. My wife has wanted me to do this for a long time...but I think like a man. I didn't want to paint the rooms in the house that needed it. Reason? Sure, several:

1. Choosing a color. Any man who's been around a woman while deciding on a room "theme" or "color scheme" knows they're in a lot of trouble. Men think about the three basic colors - white, off white, and antique white. Women choose burnt orange, mauve, lime, and extravagant faux finishes. That means more work for a man.
2. The color would be our choice. What if the next owners don't like the "color scheme" my wife has chosen? That's a lot of work to go to waste.
3. The color would be our choice...and I'd have to put up with a woman who has now developed a sentimental attachment to our home...valuing her (mostly my) hard work and not the cash we'd make when we sold it. I mean, what's better? A faux finish or a new flat screen television? It's HGTV vs. HDTV...
4. I'm thinking of the other man. Why not position the house as "ready to paint" instead of "in need of paint"? The guy who's married to the new owner will have to paint anyway because that's what all women want before they move into a home. What's the sense of me painting if she is going to want it done all over again in a "color scheme" she's been thinking about since the last special on HGTV. All of my hard work is now wasted.

I did it anyway. But I got most of what I wanted...no "color scheme" and no "faux finishes" on the walls. I chose "soft white" for 8-bucks a gallon at Wal-Mart. I got the living room (800square feet with 15-foot ceilings) done in two days. I'm sweaty, I have paint drops all over my hands and clothes, my back is sore, I'm tired, but I'm satisfied...man-like satisfied. I even had a beer.

Now we can advertise the house as: "Blank canvas...ready for the perfect color scheme"...I'm sure it'll sell now.

I just wish I had a new radio show...this would have been hot on the show.

CHARLEY HORSE

All clear from this end of the hurricane. Expecting the worst, we surveyed the damage this morning and here is what we found:

1. Six more leaves in the back yard than when we last checked.
2. A coke bottle left on a concrete table on the front porch was found to be located near the front door...a full 3-feet away! Amazing!
3. The plants we stored in the garage were a little dry, having missed much of the rain...we'll have to use a little extra Miracle-Grow to bring them up to pre-storm levels.
4. We ran low on a few supplies...chocolate mini-donuts in particular. With only one pot of coffee brewed, we felt this was something to keep an eye on for future preparations.
5. The garage had a strange smell to it after the storm passed. We may consider storing the trash bins in an outdoor facility rather than the attached garage.
6. We are awaiting the return of the small skinks (lizards) to the bushes in front. While surveying this morning, the lack of activity was surprising. Perhaps they escaped the worst and found themselves a safe retreat.
7. I took a risk and traveled the roads this morning, checking on the animals of a friend who was out of town: I found traffic levels to be very low, so I could actually go the speed limit on Ladson Road; The animals themselves were dry, but water dishes left out for them were still at pre-storm water levels - I washed and rinsed them in order to not contaminate the dogs.

In all seriousness, I know a few people probably are upset at the hype a little...having prepared for the worst. You'll hear a lot from them on the talk shows in the next few days. Just a small recommendation from yours truly - these are people who are upset for no good reason...they found themselves having to do maybe a little extra work, and now they see that extra work went unrewarded. So they have to blame/vent to someone.

But next time, they'll learn their lesson.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

I have said before, and I continue to believe, there aren't many coincidences. There may be some, but in the things that have a real impact on me professionally or personally, I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. It's part of my optimism, I guess you could say. I'll list just a few of the more prominent ones:

1. I get fired - but it ignites a renewed passion in my committment to learning, growing, and moving on...perhaps even outside the radio world. It inspires me to take it as a new challenge and opportunity...both as an exciting adventure, and deep adversity I can only be made stronger from. I can't wait to get the next job because I know the current situation will be burned into my memory and only make me more eager to do the best job I possibly can.

2. My pregnant wife is having some difficulty - but because of the lack of employment, I'm able to care for her more because I have the ability and time to do so. It has made us stronger together, and closer to our child at a very important stage of difficulty. I won't get into particulars, my wife is fine physically, but heavily stressed and would probably be stressed just the same had I not been released. And believe it or not, the lack of a steady income right now has cause us good as well...we're more frugal and we can have fun with being frugal. Many times in the past we would say "what the heck" and treat someone else because we thought it would help our relationship with them...we found out people that care don't expect or take too much interest in that kind of stuff.

3. Two storms are headed this way and people are freaking out - but I'm not responsible for the dispensing of weather information and having to pull all-nighters at a radio station to make sure people get the information they need. And with a pregnant and nervous wife, that's a real plus to be able to be around and not working 16-hour days. A lot of people think those of us in the media go overboard when it comes to weather situations like the current tracks of Hurricane Charley and Tropical Storm Bonnie...but in my experience, it's better to overdo it than pay it scant attention. When people want to know what's going on, your station better be able to tell them within 10-minutes or you're toast...and you'll ruin any further attempt at repairing or updating your station brand of Newsradio or News Talk. It might be okay at an FM music station, but for my category of radio formats, you better be there...or else.

4. In the past and currently, I went to great lengths and responded to each and every email I received - and several have helped either financially or with advice and encouragement. Some have even recommended jobs. Recently, one kind person has offered to help me in my search. Being nice to people pays off eventually...I wish it were a lesson more people paid attention to. I've had to hold my tongue several times and be a bit more diplomatic than my instincts wanted me to, but after reconsidering, I made the right choice every time. And it has affirmed my belief that there are some awful kind people in the world.

There might be a few more...at least one I don't want to highlight right here and now...but those of you who have a hard time seeing the silver lining in things maybe aren't looking hard enough.

Job Search Update: I've made the fifth revision of my resume, expanding it and including more detail on the things I've learned and am an expert at. I think it will help answer a lot of those initial questions future employers might have...and lead to more leads.

TO BE...OR, NOT TO BE...

It has been a busy couple of days, so the postings have slacked off a bit, I know. I got invited to a free day of Dad time on Saturday and spent the day fishing and taking my mind off of things. I caught a few, but nothing to write home about. When I returned, we had an offer for the house which I promptly rejected after consulting with some experts I know very well. It just wasn't worth us countering and sounded like it was someone who didn't want the house....they wanted the property. I don't begrudge people looking for a good deal or an investment, but we're not entirely at the point where we would have to consider an offer such as it was.

Today and yesterday were resolve days. What I mean by that, is that it is crunch time. I guess I was the same type of person that I'm encountering in my search for a new job...I was a bit pokey because I wanted to find the right person for the job. I had voice mail after voice mail after email after email from prospective job seekers...and it would take me a while to make sure through interviewing who I was getting. Well, I'm on the other side of that coin now. Several openings have come up dry as the weeks roll on, and despite being told that I was a good candidate by some contacts I have in the business, I have been doing a lot of waiting. But as I said, today and yesterday are resolve days.

So, not to shock a whole lot of you folks who have kindly (or otherwise) paid attention to the ramblings - I am seeking other employment. I have skeels (sic), you see...so I have tailored my resume to include the possibility of working in another industry. I share it below (edited of course). It's painful to do so, but it's a time sensitive matter that I need to solve. Initially, we had some time to focus our attention on radio...but the act of a woman giving birth waits for no man. The thought of moving, and traveling down the road with a 8 1/2 month pregnant woman and a small child is a bit scary...so is the possibility of leaving her behind to settle in a new job, only to miss the birth entirely.

Take a look at my resume and pass it on to anyone who might be hiring:

EXPERIENCE - No, I don't have a degree in anything but common sense and a real world understanding of business relationships and management of people. If you want a utopian view of how things should be, only to have to spend a lot of time to retrain the person to the way things REALLY are, then go ahead and hire the person with a piece of paper that your HR department insists is necessary for the job. Otherwise, I know how to lead people to a goal and respect their experience as well.

WORK EXPERIENCE - RELATED FIELDS

Public Relations: If looking bright and cheery at 7am, greeting the public on a Saturday at a company event when your family really wants you to be at home because you worked late the night before isn't public relations, then I don't know what is. If I can handle remaining cheery and upbeat while speaking to 10-thousand people I can't see - and not let them know I had really bad news from a doctor...I can handle pretty much anything.

Product Management: I have 15-years of working with a product that most people value and use every day. The product was the most important thing to me in the world, because I am the type of person who understands that my livelihood comes from it's success. For those 15-years, I have been on-call in hundreds of situations where I had to race to the office so customers could find the product available in an emergency. Some might see that as dedication, but I see it as necessary for product growth and development.

People Management: I have extensive experience in the ability to manage people of all kinds...happy, sad, egotistical, unqualified but necessary, nice but stupid, and every other imaginable personality. Through it all, I have been able to solve problems, meet goals, inspire, educate, befriend, and more...and then I would also manage them in their job responsibilities.

EDUCATION

School of Hard Knocks - I learned from my mistakes. Sometimes I have made the same mistake twice. Sometimes the mistake wasn't mine, but was left to chance or a matter of consequence. I learned from those too.

Library/Internet - I never depended entirely on others to train and educate me when a job situation changed or new technology became necessary. I took the time to teach myself in my spare time the skills I imagined necessary to make myself more valuable. I learned HTML Programming way before Microsoft Frontpage came out and made anyone an accomplished website developer. I learned MS-DOS before Windows 3.1 came out. These are just a few examples of how I have adapted to my environment - mostly in advance of the necessary skills.

That's just a small part of my resume. If you truly would like the actual resume because you know of an opportunity I would be qualified for - or you have one yourself and would like to have a valuable addition to your success...let me know.

I'm serious about the above. Contact me through my email.

IT'S STILL THE SIMPLE THINGS

You know, I think the initial nervousness of trying to secure a job quickly is beginning to wear off. It's not that I like the situation I'm in...I don't...but I've accepted it and I'm working hard to secure the next position. I may have mentioned this before, but there's a strange sensation you get when you leave a job (involuntarily) in radio...something in the public eye, news-based, and information gathering and commentary type radio. I suppose it's true for music radio too...maybe even moreso.

You start to feel like a piece of lint on an old turntable.

(small side note here for the kids that grew up with CD's only -
those are pieces of vinyl that you used to put on a turning disc and place a
diamond-tipped needle on grooves...and the vibrations would be translated and
processed into music)

You are the piece of lint left behind by the needle...and each revolution carries the music forward, and you're still stuck on the first chorus. You're missing out on some good stuff...a great guitar riff, a nice tempo change or bass line...and if you don't hurry, you're going to miss the power chord ending. That's exactly how it is in radio...you think that you're going to be "out of the loop" for so long that you'll no longer be good enough to catch up.

But I'm past that initial fear. I've had a lot of fun in between the worry and the headaches of finding a new gig...I've gotten to watch my daughter learn the difference between each of the characters in Winnie the Pooh stories. I've seen her change from a toddler barely able to walk, to one that needs a leash to keep her from straying too far or too close to the electrical outlets. I've had the joy of sitting on the couch and having her grab a book from a shelf, walk over to me and hold her arms up so I would pick her up and put her in my lap and read it to her. It's the simple things like those that have made the situation bearable...and even forcing me to look on the bright side.

So yes, in answer to several emails, I am still here...and I still know that whatever may come and go and transpire in your quest for whatever makes you happy for yourself...if you don't take a few moments and bask in the glory of simple things, you may be missing a lot.

I NEED A MICROPHONE...THE SHOW PREP IS PILING UP

I've heard someone say it in the past - "90-percent of people don't care about your problems, the other 10-percent are glad you have them" - and for that last part at least, it's been true. I have received some really awful emails from people who are glad that I am out of a job (for the moment), and not on the air. Most of it, I'm guessing, comes from some perceived harm I may have done them by having the opinions I do or the political ideology that I promote. I find it a little funny given what I am reminded of time and time again from these kind of people in the past...they are for the downtrodden, the "little guy" and the like. They are supposed to be the compassionate ones, and I'm part of the "party of greed and selfishness" blah blah blah...

Anyway, keep them coming by EMAILING them to me...I love reading them anyway. I think perhaps it makes them even more angry with me when I respond to them with kindness, understanding, and a general nice attitude...the opposite of what they are expecting, I'm guessing. It makes for an interesting reminder and story in my next job...

Which may be THIS one:

"...Experienced full time Talk host needed who's not afraid to shake a
few trees - and exploit what falls out. We need a passionate talk host who can entertain and grow listenership with compelling discussion, stir things up with local talk and be equally knowledgeable about happenings around the country and the world. You need to have strong opinions and convictions, establish (or have) connections that will help you uncover the occasional corrupt politician, but also be able to let your hair down and have fun every once in a while!..."

Of course, I applied. Believe me, I didn't write that myself...but it certainly was written FOR me.

MONDAY, MONDAY...

Well, I've decided to re-produce and upload a newer version of my demo tape. It again, is a compilation of more than 2-years of solid work...compressed in that all too common format of 10-minutes...you can find it on the home page and audio page.

Hopefully, it's enough to give someone a sample of what I sound like, the way I approach my craft, how I conduct a show, and my production capabilities. Like I've said before, it's a very difficult thing to do - take the highlights and extraordinary spontaneous brilliance over 2-years - and give someone enough information to decide whether you're the kind of person they're looking for in an employee. It's nerve-wracking really...because I'm much better than what is on that 10-minutes.

I have to admit today, I caught myself scanning the employment section of the newspaper yesterday. As I read through them, I tried to imagine what else I might be qualified for...it was all really an exercise in the possibility of related fields. Things like public relations, marketing, management, and human resources. The things I have experience in, can actually do someone pretty well for the right job. A while ago, someone sent me a job posting for a media relations position at a major company here in the area...I thanked them, of course, and put it aside. The only thing that got me thinking is what virtually every college student (outside of medical fields) have to look forward to...getting theoretical instruction, and hopefully making it work in the real world. I've met a few of these college students...especially in media and journalism programs...and they all have great theoretical understanding, but they are rather surprised to find out how it actually works in the real world...here's a few examples:

News - it's not journalism as a student would understand...it's speed, the ability to tell a story with as few words as possible, describing events, and developing compelling content. Most students who come to me from the journalism aspect see themselves as Woodward and Bernstein types...taking all day to develop that one story that's going to change the course of someone's life. Baloney. Get the story done for the next newscast and make it sound snappy...uptempo and informative. Then get the next one done.

Digital Production - it used to be done on reel to reel machines with white grease markers and tape...now it's computers and the hard stuff is done for you most of the time with production libraries (CD's full of pre-produced music beds and sound effects) that stations purchase in order to speed the process along. It's not sitting there all day at a computer screen and coming up with a brilliant 30-second commercial. That happens, but most of the time, it's getting copy from a newspaper ad that the salesperson drops off on your desk after lunch...and oh, by the way, the commercial plays at 3-pm this afternoon so have it done for them by 2pm.

Announcer - well, it's more than sitting there for three hours a day listening to great music. First of all, you don't get to choose the music...ever. Secondly, all you do on the air is pre-recorded so you can be doing other things...like washing the station vehicle and visiting with groups as they tour the building to see how radio is done. Multi-tasking is the big thing today...the ability to do more than two things at once.

Management - sorry, you gotta start somewhere else...pay your dues. A lot of college kids I've met have expected they'd be able to start at their local big town radio station as a manager...but most have been told to take out the trash for a couple of years first...then be willing to do about nine other things before someone will ever give you a chance at management. You should see the looks on their faces when they request 60K a year as manager because they have a business degree...and they're interviewing with a guy who never went to college and earns 50K after being in the business for 20-years.

But radio is still what I love. Despite all the crap you deal with...I couldn't do anything else and be happy with myself.

So looking through the paper yesterday for other positions in the area here was really more of an exercise in trying to avoid the difficulties we're currently having (selling the house, moving, finding employment, wife giving birth, etc) than it was anything else.