To Be Announced...

I'm attempting to have a little fun at a scammer's expense. Here is the latest email exchange:

(Read previous here)

Dearest one,

Thank you very much for your response to my proposal.

I am the President/CEO of Yard Scraper, Inc. South Africa. All I want you to do for my company is to stand as a foreign representative just to help my company receive payment from our customers overseas. The payment will be sent to you on cheque, cash it then take 10% of the total amount for your assistance and pay the rest to my company's account that I will give
to you.

As soon as you agree to assist my company I will discuss with my company lawyer to draft a binding agreement that will protect both parties (ME&YOU).

The main reason for this is because I realize that its quite too expensive and stressful for me to be coming to the overseas to receive such payment twice or more in a month. This is the main and sincere reason why I needed your assistance.

kindly forward to us the following information bellow:

Full Names
Company Name
Telephone & Fax Numbers
Full contact addresses
Sex
Age

As soon as I get those infromations Above. I will talk with my lawyer to draft the agreement which I will send to you niether by email attachment or by fax. Then after this I will instruct my customers overseas to be making all my company's payment to you.

If you are interested, kindly forward to me those infromation.

Thanks in Advance
Kelvin Powell
President/CEO of Yard Scraper, Inc.

Despite the obvious misspellings, I don't make mention of it...yet. Here is my response:

I have sent the information by post to the address provided in your earlier note. I am wondering now how many names you would like? You only requested one name in our previous correspondence. I have many names, but I also have a horse with no name so I'm not sure you will be wanting that.

I cannot provide you with sex, though...but I understand the stress of coming to the overseas. My secretary Nancy Pelosi has been in Syria to conduct some business and a meeting could be arranged for you to relieve some stress if you know what I mean.

I think I should like to see a draft of the draft agreement before we agree so that I may suggest changes that could benefit us both. Don't you agree?

I am looking forward to making a lot more money. 10-percent is a little small of a percentage...is there any way we could make it more?

The attempt here is to waste a lot of his time with a bunch of baloney...but we'll see how long he takes the bait. I'm positive the Nancy Pelosi reference will tip him off, but given the language barrier, it may not. Stay tuned...

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Labels: scams

With not much better to do today, I've decided to have a little fun with a recent email scam I received. I wonder how many people write back and/or respond to these things. They must work because they keep sending them.

Here's the original email (among the hundreds you probably get as well):

YARD SCRAPER, INC. SOUTH AFRICA
Head Office: 131 Braamfontein,
Midran-Johannesburg
2050 South Africa
Tel: (xxxxxxxx - removed)
Fax: (xxxxxxxx - removed)

Dearest one,

I am Mr. Kelvin Powell, President/CEO of Yard Scraper, Inc. South Africa (a company based in the South Africa). A Company that is specialized in import and export of industrial and domestic machinery & equipment, communication accessories and household appliances.

We also deal on mechanical equipment, hardware and minerals, electrical products,medical & chemicals, light industrial products and office equipment, and export into America, Asia and Europe, therefore being a General Mercantile Company.

We currently run our business from America, Asia and Europe but I will be communicating with you from our South Africa Office where I am currently located for now. We are searching for representatives who can help us establish a medium of getting to our customers in America, Asia and Europe as well as making payments through you to us. Please if you are interested in transacting business with us we will be most glad to be your partners.

My company is willing to offer you 10% of every payment that comes in through you to us.

If you are interested, kindly forward to us the following information through my private email:(xxxxx@xxxxx.xxx - removed):

Full Names
Company Name
Telephone & Fax Numbers
Full contact addresses

Please note that your area of specialization or occupation is of no relevance to resolve to assist us.

Thanks in advance.

Sincerely.
Kelvin Powell
President/CEO of Yard Scraper, Inc.

I like the "Dearest One" beginning. What the hell is that?

So, like I said...I wrote back and I'll have a little fun with him. My reply:

I have received your information request, but am having trouble understanding your proposal. Please kindly forward me more information.

I currently run a number of businesses that are extremely profitable and I cannot release many names as there are tax consequences for revealing all of the information you request.

I am very busy, so be as complete as you can.

President CEO

As some subscribers to the GregSays Newsletter may already know...there are a lot of people who do the same thing I am going to do. Waste as much time of theirs as possible. I'll let you know if he responds and include further updates on the blog here.

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Labels: scams

Must be that time of year again, but the calls from all the various police and fire associations seem to come in waves.

They're all scams. Don't give them any money. The lousy sticker you get to put on your window will not ward off any tickets you might get after being pulled over.

Want an easy way to tell if they're scams? Just ask them for their address. It never fails.

Here's how the conversation will go. I know, because I just got off the phone with one of them:

(ring ring)

You: Hello?

Them: Yes, this is Charles from the Iowa State Trooper Association and we'd like to know if you're going to support them again this year. With your donation, we help troopers and their families. In return, you'll get a nice sticker recognizing you for your support.

You: What's your address?

Them: We're in Des Moines

You: I know...so what's the address?

Them: (click. dial tone.)

As I said, they're all scams. Don't give them money. Just a tip from me to you.

Labels: scams